How to Love Yourself

How to Love Yourself

Love Yourself or Else

When the question is asked ‘what do you think of yourself, 10 out of 10, I am the most fantastic person who ever lived and 0 out of 10 I loathe myself’, the author has found that a surprising number of people rate themselves at below 5 out of 10 and sometimes peoplerate themselves in the minus numbers. Events in people’s lives have a profound influence on the way in which they view themselves. People often think that it is arrogant to have a score that is too high; if I am a 10 out of 10 I think too highly of myself. Society has conditioned, or hypnotised people into thinking that they are unworthy.

Certain religions teach that all people are guilty of original sin. Because Adam sinned In the Garden of Eden, the original sin is passed from generation to generation; I am therefore not worthy and therefore it is correct to loathe myself. This teaching results in people believing that they are unworthy.

Many children are told, repeatedly that they are not worth anything, they will never succeed in life, they are worthless. These children grow up unbalanced and believing that they are unworthy and are unlovable by themselves and others.

Abuse is another area that programmes people into believing that they are worthless and cannot be loved.

Constant abuse at home, school or work diminishes people’s self-respect and self-worth.

For healing, spiritually, emotionally and physically to take place we need to love ourselves. ‘When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve or the negative one’s dissolve and new ones begin’ L Hay. If you don’t love yourself, you will not be able to progress in your health, relationships, healing, in fact in your life.

It has been said that it is arrogant to love yourself. Sometimes we see people showing off, they must appear to be better than other people. Bragging about themselves, always trying to prove themselves, often loudly talking about themselves. This sort of behaviour is not self-love but the sign of low self-esteem, the opposite of self-love or high self-esteem. People who act in this way either have a low self-image or serous psychological issues.

The Sun Analogy

Here we have the sun. What will you rate the sun out of 10, 10 out of 10 the best possible sun, and 0 out of 10 the worst possible sun?


How to Love Yourself - Sunglasses

The sun cannot be better than it is and in fact it cannot be worse than it is. It is therefore not possible to rate it less than 10 out of 10. The sun just is! The sun is perfect and therefore 10 out of 10. It is complete.

Now let’s look at what happens if the sun is hidden by clouds?

How to Love Yourself - Cloudy

As I look out of my window I see that clouds hide the sun. We have seen that the sun is a 10 out of 10 when we can see it, but what will we rate the sun when clouds hide it? Will the score be lower? Is the value of the sun less because we cannot see it? Of course, the sun does not care if clouds are obscuring it, it just does what it does, giving light and warmth and a gravitational field. Can we mark the sun down because we cannot see it? No and no again, the sun is independent of the clouds, it just keeps being the sun. We must still mark the sun 10 out of 10!

The sun is complete, just as it is. It is complete.

 The Sun Analogy and You

And now, what about you, what will you rate yourself out of 10? 1 out of 10? 5 out of 10? Or 10 out of 10? Is it not presumptuous to give you a 10 out of 10?

Does your score differ from day to day with your moods?

If you are feeling sad you are still the same person, you do not change at a spiritual (core) level. Your feelings and emotions are just like the clouds in the above illustration, they are not you, they change from day to day, moment to moment, they are not you. Your feelings and emotions do not change who you are. What about your skills? One example would be if you could fly a jumbo jet? Unless you are an airline pilot it is unlikely that you are skilled enough to fly a large jet. Quite obviously being a pilot does not affect who you are your skills are like the clouds and do not change who you are. Different people are better at diverse things; your abilities do not change your score, you are still 10 out of 10.

What About Your Looks?

At 20 years, old, people normally look young and healthy. If we believe that looks affect who we are then as we age our self-image would change. If this were true then at 20 we would have a great self-image, so we should give ourselves a high score, but we slowly loose our looks, therefore if looks had anything to do with who we are, by the time we turn 97 and we don’t look nearly as good, our score would be greatly reduced. If looks had anything to do with who we are then at some point in our lives, we would become worthless. This idea is quite clearly ridiculous, so we can say that looks are outside of who we are, once again like the clouds.

Your spirit or the essence of who you are does not change by outside things like emotions, looks, money, and the like.

You are just like the sun, outside things cannot change you; ‘you just are’ The implications of this are huge, you cannot get better or worse you therefore must mark yourself a 10 out of 10. You are perfect, you cannot improve. I am not saying that you should not try and improve your looks, by trying to live a healthy life, or improve your skills, or try and to achieve great things; what I am saying is that who you are remains a constant 10 out of 10.

For you to flourish in life and your relationships and obtain your healing you need to love yourself. Loving yourself is not arrogant, you need to realise that you ‘just are’, you just are a 10 out of 10.



Author: Dr. Steve

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